NaomiBerry: Geri's 72 hours in Penang- Part satu

Stolen from Geri Pang

So another fairly impromptu decision. Geri Pang visited me in Penang! Best trip to Penang, like ever. So, the very day we drove back from Cameron Highlands (totally mamaged to bribe my way into riding in my uncle's Mercedes.) was also the day Geri arrived! Me and my uncle dropped my grandfather back to his house, and I desperately needed the toilet, so I walked over to the hotel use their toilets cos I was scared of using the ones at my grandfather's. lol. So I used to toilets and stood outside the hotel waiting for my uncle to drive over with my luggage. But low and behold! Geri Pang rode in like royalty. She even had me to open the door for her. (With another of my uncles wondering why I've become a door woman for the hotel). But it was totally weird seeing her ride in in a taxi, it was all like 'oh, fancy seeing you here in my 地盘.'

But yeah, we walked into the hotel and I asked for a room key to the room specially prepared for us. TOTAL VIP SERVICE FOR HER OKAY.

We dove straight into the main point of her trip to Penang, the food. The picture above was our first course of our eight course hawker dinner. It was followed by Char kway teow, kway teow teng, peanut pancake, ice kacang (my fav ice kacang btw) (Char kway teow guy also forgot Geri gave him 50RM and she needed change. lolol)

Putu mayong

Walking back to my room, my uncle stuffed a bag full of this goodness into my hands. Supper= sorted.

Geri's second day in Penang, a.k.a the day we all almost died

Some ghetto tilted menu.

Opening my eyes and seeing Geri in her most unglam and retarded form is always nice no doubt. But what was even nicer was the breakfast we had! The famous Argyll Road's Roti Canai. MY GOSH, I lost count of how many times I went there. Its so worth it waking up early for this goodness.

And that....

Was followed by this. The famous Penang Road's Chendol. OMG FORGET IT, WHAT IS LIFE.

Super ghetto Chendol vendor dude. Best in the world no doubt.

This is totally where its at! First time sitting down in an air conditioned area while the owner gets his millions of maids (I swear) to delivered us Chendol. Not quite same as the experience when standing in the scorching sun while downing ten bowls of Chendol. But nvm, STILL SO GOOD.

And the owner's son, who's taken over the stall now is totally sweet as! If he's not married, HE SHOULD BE MARRIED.

We spotted aliens trying to invade Penang, probably for Chendol.

SO ghetto. PENANG IS SO GHETTO. I LOVE IT YO.

1.20rm for a bag of Kuaci. That's 24PENCE FOR ETERNAL HAPPINESS DUDE.

So happy to introduce my cousins to Geri, and Geri to my cousins. My cousins definitely now know why I'm so irritatingly crazy.

When Geri wasn't there, whenever I was crazy (which was almost always) my cousins would laugh along, but I could read their faces saying 'WHAT IS THIS GIRL SMOKING?!'. But once Geri came, looks of understanding started showing up in their faces. My humour, my inappropriateness, my random bouts of laughter with jokes being dragged on waaay too long totally made sense to them. Me and Geri would stopped in the middle of the street screeching with laughter, hugging each other to support ourselves, it allll made sense to them. They laughed along, but probably with thoughts of how to assassinate Geri for making me the person I am. I joke, i joke.

Stolen from Geri Pang

Another stolen from Geri Pang.

After Roti Canai, Chendol, and a walk around, we decided it was definitely time for lunch and tea. Lunch and tea involved driving to the other side of Penang Island. Before going on a car expedition remember to check yo tyres! That's what we (minus me and geri the car noobs) were doing in the above picture. Camwhoring while other people work, useless retards.

So we piled into my cousin, Iris' car, all five of us, in this tiny car, older than all of us wah lao. We went trudging along to the other side of, what felt like the world to this old banger. And this is where our near death experience occurred. Driving to Balik Pulau meant HILLS. Actually, it means hills to normal cars. But with our car, with five people stuff inside this Kancil, it meant HILLS. So driving along, we were happily stuck behind this slow and equally old looking van. Happy because people would be blaming the van for the hold up. Our happiness came to a grand end when the van decided to zoom away out of sight. Now it was our fault for the hold up! But nehmind, we reached the peak of the hill, the downhill will be swift and okay right?!

But no! THE BRAKES DECIDED TO STOP WORKING. All of us silently freaking out on our own, Iris Chin Tom Yam took matters into her own hands and turned into a parking lot and braked.

But no! A cliff was fast approaching but still no sign of stopping! (Though I was secretly panicking about the dog which was sat in the parking lot. Scared that it was gonna attack me when I got out) And then bam, we landed in a dip in the ground, bringing this heavy vehicle to a grand halt. (And scaring away the dog). So we were safe.

But no! The car started smoking. DAMMIT RUN AWAY!

When we were a relatively safe distance away, it was so funny seeing Amanda (another cousin) lumbered with all these random items in her arms! A London 2012 t-shirt, a keychain, someone's handbag. She probably didn't even realise she grabbed everything in the car just in case the car exploded in flames.

So us, stuck in the middle of no where, started calling various aunties and uncles for mechanic details but to no avail. So we decided to approach the durian cutting uncle in the temple (the parking lot belonged to the temple) (Geri totally eyeing up the durian and praying that he offers us some), we asked him for any mechanics around here. And he said, mid durian cutting, that there's none around here. But he then did something I will never forget! He put on a shirt. Ya, like omg, those Ah peh check shirts with heavy breast pockets stuffed with money. When an Ah Peh puts on his shirts, he means business. He put on his helmet, even more business, and got onto his motorbike. He was actually gonna go and drive to get us a mechanic!

Like WTH! People got this nice one meh?! Geri and the cousins ridiculed me for almost crying.

THIS is the temple!

If you're buddhist and ever in Penang, GO THERE AND PRAY.

But then! My same Mercedes driving uncle called us as the temple uncle was leaving, and said he was on his way to pick us up to bring us where ever we're going. WTH! PEOPLE GOT THIS NICE ONE MEH?!

DENG DENG! *note Geri's face*

Totally worth it for almost dying! Famous Balik Pulau Penang Laksa! In my opinion the best in Penang! But its a sensitive subject on whether the Ayer Hitam one or the Balik Pulau one is nicer.

Ghetto menu dude.

Penang summed up in a picture!

Laksa was accompanied by a semi-lecture from my uncle asking us why we drove the old banger and not his other car?!

And it remains a mystery on how the car managed to end up in the mechanics (?!)

After Laksa....

Came this! Introduced by my handsomest cousin. This satay is located in the Balik Pulau bus terminal food court. Where NO other store is opened except this satay store. They totally stole business from everyone else. But one stick is 35sen! 7 PENCE! This became an ongoing joke with my cousin. Because I could divide everything by five to get to pounds, I was supposedly 'rich'. So everytime I spent money, he would go '7 PENCE'.

But anyway, I never go for satay, the bit of fat they stuff in the middle of meat to make it look 'fuller' really puts me off. BUT NOT THIS. This was a god send! In my opinion top of my best satay in the world list. Deffo.